


In the Living Room Stressin'

by moonjockey



Series: Burr Worked Next Door [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Family Angst, Holidays, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8977978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjockey/pseuds/moonjockey
Summary: “Aaron, who less than a year ago was wishing Hamilton would talk less, now suddenly wanted quite the opposite.” Burr likes Hamilton. A lot. And Christmastime is for family, right? Sure--If only Hamilton can get over his own feelings about family. A holiday fic with Teacher!AU Burr & Hamilton.





	1. My father left my mother died I grew up buck wild

**Author's Note:**

> Well I thought I was going to write a new AU Hamilton & Burr, but then this happened! 
> 
> Thanks as always to my dawg, L. 
> 
> Happy Holidays!

Aaron Burr was walking to his car when he heard a voice. 

“Burr, hey Burr!” 

He grinned at the sound of Hamilton’s voice, but schooled his expression back to one of mild annoyance before turning to greet him. Hamilton stood right behind Aaron, his shirt and tie askew from the day, his hair a mess. So typical day, then. 

“Hey,” Aaron said with a nod. He noticed as he looked closer, though, that Hamilton’s eyes didn’t have their trademark brightness. Something was up for sure. Aaron filed that away for later use. 

Hamilton grabbed Aaron’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “Hey yourself. Will you ever look excited to see me?” Hamilton pouted. 

“That depends. Will you ever not be obnoxious?” The corner of Aaron’s mouth curled upwards and he squeezed Hamilton’s hand. 

“Touche.” Hamilton winked at him before leading them towards the parking lot, swinging Aaron’s arm back and forth with an air of ease. Aaron had long since given up on fighting PDA. Strict rules were enforced however: School parking lot okay. If kids weren’t around. Nothing more than hand holding. 

Aaron unlocked his car as they got close. As soon as the doors were closed, Aaron leaned over to the passenger seat and cupped Hamilton’s face, finally giving him a smile. This was his favorite part of the day. They were alone together at last. Things were different once they were in the car. 

Hamilton beamed back at him, his hands gripping Aaron’s arms lightly. Aaron closed his eyes and kissed Hamilton delicately on the lips.

Aaron had started to pull away when he felt Hamilton wrap his arms around his neck. Hamilton pulled Aaron closer, opening his mouth against his own and kissing him deeply. Needy, almost. Aaron’s sudden worries about Hamilton seemed to slip away, as Hamilton’s warm mouth pressed against his own. 

Hamilton broke off after a few breathless, frantic moments. 

“Hey,” he breathed out, looking deep into Aaron’s eyes. Aaron smiled against Hamilton’s mouth as he gave him one final chaste kiss. He detangled himself from Hamilton and sat back in his seat and started the car. 

“Soooo how was your day, _sweetie_?” Hamilton asked as he placed his hand on Aaron’s leg.

 _Going back to that old argument?_ Aaron thought they were past that. It was another one of his rules. No nicknames. EVER.

Something was clearly up with him. Aaron refused to rise to Hamilton’s bait though. Two can play this game. 

“Oh, just fine, my darling.” 

“You’re allowing pet names now, dearest Burr-kins?”

“Whatever you want, my dear.” Aaron backed out of the spot and drove away from the school. Aaron quickly peeked over at Hamilton. He was laughing, but the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“How was your day? Didn’t see you much, did you work through lunch again?” Aaron asked nonchalantly. He kept his eyes on the road, but saw Hamilton rub the back of his neck as he responded. 

“Uh yeah sorry. I know you hate when I do that..” 

Aaron shrugged. He did. But this was not the time. He was more concerned that Hamilton was so apologetic. And he was now forlornly looking out the window, his fingers creating a rhythm on the arm rest. 

He had really wanted to wait till later to have this conversation, but looked like it was happening now. 

“You okay, Alexander?” Aaron reserved the right to call him Alexander when he was trying to take him to bed or in serious conversations like this one. (Hamilton only called him Aaron when he was mad at him). 

A brief moment of silence and then a long sigh. 

“Goddamn it.” He sighed again. “No.” 

Aaron waited for him to say more. He didn’t. 

Aaron finally looked over towards him when they got to a red light. He was still staring out the window, tension evident in his shoulders. His fingers tapped even more frantically.

“Are you going to tell me, or do I have to work to get it out of you?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Hamilton answered automatically, refusing to meet Aaron’s glance. 

Aaron put his hand on Hamilton’s leg and rubbed it soothingly. “Well I’m here when you’re ready.” 

A car horn honked from behind them and Aaron looked up realising the light had turned green. 

“Whoops, sorry!” He looked in the rear view mirror and lifted his hand from Hamilton’s leg to wave apologetically to the annoyed driver. 

“Can you just take me home?” Hamilton said softly to the window when they were almost at Aaron’s apartment. 

_Shit._

“What? Really?” 

Hamilton always came back to his apartment after school. Or he had for the last 6 months or so. He even had his own drawer at Aaron’s place now.

“Yeah. I just need to be alone.” 

“If you’re sure.” Aaron turned at the next street, which lead to Hamilton’s apartment. 

It was very offputting for the car ride to be so silent. Hamilton had been in many bad moods in the almost year since they had been dating. But it was even more rare that he wasn’t talking Aaron’s ear off about whatever it was that was bothering him. 

Aaron pulled up in front of Hamilton’s building. The traffic of the busy street buzzed beside them. 

Aaron, who less than a year ago was wishing Hamilton would talk less, now suddenly wanted quite the opposite. 

Hamilton turned towards Aaron finally, something brewing behind his dark eyes. “Sorry, Burr. I know I’m being a shitty boyfriend right now. I thought I could push away my bad mood.” He brought a twitching hand to rub at his forehead. 

Aaron opened his mouth to respond, but Hamilton shook his head, his hand on the door. 

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hamilton opened the door. He hesitated for a moment. 

“Oh and don’t worry about driving me tomorrow. I’ll take the subway.” 

He closed the door without another glance and walked towards his apartment. Aaron waited until he was in the building and drove away. 

\----------------------  
5:12: _Hey, I hope you’re doing alright. I’m here for you whenever you’re ready_ <3 

Alex looked down at his phone and saw the text from Burr. His eyes started watering. He pushed his phone across his coffee table. Throwing himself back onto the couch, he ran his fingers through his already tangled hair. He wanted to be frustrated with Burr. He had been trying to avoid his problem since the facebook message he had received at lunch, but Burr noticed. He never could hide his feelings from him. 

The words from the message still rang through his mind as though he was reading it. 

_“This is a long time coming. It hasn’t been easy for me to write this message. I know I have ignored you for so long. But some recent changes in my life made me realize I need to put things right between us. I know it’s been a long time…”_

Alex yelled out in frustration, grabbing his hair roughly. He hadn’t heard from his father in over 20 years, and he was fine with that. Really. He had long since given up sending him letters, then emails. Why did he have to contact him now when he finally felt like his life was going well? 

Alex couldn’t ignore the little light of happiness he felt when he saw his father’s name finally--finally appear in his messages. But it burned out quickly once he read it and he remembered all the horrible things his father had done and all the anger he had built up against him since he left Alex and his mother all those years ago. 

Alex knew he must be a masochist when he reached across the table to pick up his phone to read the message once more. 

Alex allowed himself a good half hour angry cry session before he sat up. He wiped his face and put his hair back up in a ponytail. He grabbed his school bag and took out his grading and got to work. 

 

Alex woke up suddenly, light streaming into his windows. 

He looked all around, fear gripping him. His eyes found the clock: 7:45. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” Alex yelled to himself as he jumped out of bed, throwing off his pajamas and changing into a button down shirt. 

5 minutes later, Alex was at the door to his apartment. He stopped. He would have to call Burr. There was no way he would get to work even remotely on time taking the subway at this point, since he had sold his car a few months ago. It had been falling apart and getting too expensive to keep in the city. 

With shaking hands, he pulled out his phone and saw that he didn’t have one single message from Burr. He tried not to let that bother him as he put the phone to his ear to call him. 

“Hamilton where are you? I just came to try to talk to you…” 

“Burr you gotta come get me,” Alex said in a rush. 

“What?...wait. Where are you?”

“Home. Overslept. Don’t have time for a fucking lecture, can you just come get me? Can you let Washington know? Tell him my train got delayed or something and you’re coming to pick me up.” The last thing Alex needed right now was for Washington to be concerned about him as well. He was going to get enough of it from Burr. 

Twenty panic-filled minutes later, Burr was there, looking as worried as ever. 

“I know. I know. Just drive, Burr,” Alex said. 

He tried unsuccessfully to buckle his seatbelt as Burr drove away. 

“Goddammit! Why the hell won’t this go in?” 

Burr placed a steady hand on Alex’s own hand. “Alexander.” 

Alex still kept pushing on the buckle, realizing the sound he was hearing was his own ragged breathing. “Hamilton. Please calm down. You’re shaking.” Burr gripped Alex’s hand more firmly now and brought it to his mouth with a feather light kiss. 

Alex pulled his hand away and brought both hands to cover his eyes. “Jesus. I’m such a mess.” 

Enveloped in darkness, he felt Burr reach around and buckle him in. He took a few deep calming breaths. “I’m so sorry, Burr. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Sleeping in? This is not me. It’s the goddamned message. It’s got me all out of whack.” 

Alex felt a gentle tug on his hands. And then there was Burr smiling at him. A real genuine Burr smile. He definitely didn’t deserve it with the way he’d been acting. 

Alex realized they were not moving anymore. He looked around. It seemed that Burr had pulled over into an empty parking lot. “I talked with Washington,” Burr said, smile unwavering, “We have coverage for the next hour. Take the hour however you wish. Talk to me or not. Whatever you need.” 

“Burr, stop being so nice. I don’t deserve it,” Alex said bitterly. 

Burr didn’t respond. Alex looked up. The smile was still there. 

God he was being such an asshole. He didn’t deserve Burr. But he didn’t need to treat him this way. 

“I’m so sorry,” Alex sighed. “Thanks for picking me up, by the way. I know I put you out having to get coverage right at the beginning of the day. Couldn’t have been easy.” 

“You know you’d do the same for me.” He would, but that wasn’t the point right now. 

Alex stared out the window, watching people rushing by on their way to work. The anxious feeling that had been bubbling in his chest since he first woke up was finally starting to fade. He didn’t want to admit it, but Burr’s calming presence and the way he was rubbing his back just now was certainly helping. 

He let out his air slowly, ready to open up. “I got a message from my father. So yeah. Not an actual orphan after all.” 

He gauged Burr’s reaction. Guarded as always. He simply nodded, prompting Alex to continue. 

This was a part of Alex’s life that he hadn’t fully shared with Burr yet. It was time. His eyes firmly affixed to the glove compartment, Alex went on. “I never told you this, but I’m sure you assumed. My father left my mother and I when I was young. A year or so before we got sick and my mother….” Alex stopped, lump in his throat. 

After a few moments he cleared it. “Well he left, and it devastated me. I got angry. I blamed my mother. Sent him letters for a while. He would only respond to ask for money. And I sent it to him like a dumbass.” Alex’s voice catches. He didn’t want to cry. He thought he had got it all out yesterday. 

“Hamilton. I--” Burr cut through. 

“I’m okay. I just need to finish.” He let his air out through his nose slowly, Burr’s continual comforting hand grounding him. “Okay. So I tried to move on and forget him. Then mom dies, and I’m bouncing around in foster homes in the US. I try contacting him again. Nothing. I somehow got ahold of an email address. Nothing. Until yesterday.” 

“Alexander--” 

“Just let me finish?” Alex peered at Burr. His guarded look was gone, replaced with a worried twist of his lips. Burr nodded. 

Alex gazed out the window, knowing he couldn’t continue if he was looking at Burr. 

“He says he’s a _changed_ man,” Alex spat out. “Just got remarried to someone new who made him realize he needs to make his peace with me. He wants me to meet his new family. For fucking Christmas. What the fuck, right? He didn’t specifically ask for money. But I know he will! Kept going on and on in his message about how he saw on my facebook that I’m a teacher in a nice school. ‘You were always so smart, Alexander, like me. I always knew you’d do great things...’ Really. Well. Fuck you.” 

Alex could feel himself getting worked up, but glad the tears remained at bay. 

He heard a rustle and squeak of the seat and then Burr’s arms were around him, holding him tightly. Neither said anything for a few minutes. 

Burr pulled away as Alex felt himself calming down. 

“Thanks for telling me. I know that wasn’t easy.” 

Alex bit his lip and nodded curtly. 

“Well, I’ll say it. Your dad’s a piece of shit and you should absolutely not see him.” 

Alex looked away. He did think about it. For about 5 minutes. And then he realized he didn’t have to. 

“Hamilton. No. You cannot. You absolutely cannot. What good will come of it?” 

“I know. I know. I thought I needed to hear from him all those times I contacted him. But I really didn’t. What an asshole.” 

“Do you know what you’re going to reply with? 

“I don’t know, Burr. I haven’t decided yet. I’m still kinda a mess about it, though.” Alex gave Burr a smile; he could feel he was starting to get back to his normal self. “I kinda want to send him a picture of the two of us, though. I clicked on his profile and he seems kinda conservative. A big old ‘fuck you, look at my boyfriend and never contact me again.’ ” 

There was that genuine Burr smile again. He felt a little more deserving of it now.

Alex looked down at the clock and saw they still had some time before the had to go back to school. “Thanks for listening and putting up with me.” 

“That’s what I’m here for.” Burr put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and squeezed gently. 

Alex found himself getting lost in Burr’s loving gaze. The two drew nearer and nearer until they connected in a brief kiss. Alex leaned his forehead against Burr’s. 

Burr was giving him a look. “We don’t have to get back to school yet..” 

Alex smiled. “You are right, Mr. Burr.”

Burr was on him in a matter of seconds.


	2. Hamilton doesn't hesitate

Hamilton seemed to snap out of his funk almost instantaneously. 

The next morning Aaron woke to the clanking of pans. Aaron groaned as he opened his eyes. He sat up and looked over at the lock. 5:45. Way too early for Aaron’s liking. 

The clanking of pots continued, now accompanied by the sizzling of bacon, which drew Aaron from his bed. He padded towards the bathroom. 

As he was washing his hands, he started to smell something burning. Expecting a mild disaster, Aaron quickly dried his hands and ran towards the kitchen. 

There he found Hamilton standing over the stove, his dark hair stacked high on his head in a ridiculous bun and wearing his favorite green plaid pajama pants, which Aaron had given him for his birthday. He whistled to himself as he pulled the burnt bacon from the pan. 

“You like yours extra crispy, right Burr?” Hamilton turned towards him, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. He held out a plate. 

Aaron grabbed the plate with a frown. “Who are you and what did you do with Hamilton?” 

“What do you mean? Don’t I always make my boyfriend a home-cooked breakfast?” Hamilton winked. 

“After the day you had yesterday, I expected I would have to yank you from the bed myself this morning. And yet here you are before 6 am making breakfast.” 

“What can I say, I’ve moved on! Today’s a new day and you have food. Don’t complain!” Hamilton scooped food onto his own plate before sitting down at the breakfast bar. Aaron joined him there. 

Aaron picked up his fork and contemplated the plate of food Hamilton had made. Besides the burnt bacon, he also had slightly watery eggs and decent looking sausage. Hamilton wasn’t the best cook and only had cooked for Aaron a few times. He appreciated the gesture, though. 

He dug into his food, trying not to grimace at its poor taste. Hamilton was pretty invested in his cup of coffee so he didn’t notice. 

Aaron nudged Hamilton with his shoulder. “Seriously. You okay?” 

“Yep. Yep,” Hamilton said brightly. It didn’t seem put on at all. It was as if yesterday hadn’t happened. 

“Are you going to respond to your dad’s message?” Aaron asked as he choked down more of his breakfast. You kind of got used to it. 

Hamilton waved a hand. “Nah, just going to put this whole thing past me. Fuck him.” 

Aaron heard nothing more of Hamilton’s father as the weeks went on and the mild October turned towards a frosty November. 

One day early in November, Aaron was sitting at his desk during his planning period looking over his schedule for the month. His eyes widening when he got to the week of Thanksgiving. _Thanksgiving!_ He hadn’t talked to Hamilton about their plans at all. He had barely thought of it himself. He didn’t really have set plans for the holiday. Sometimes he went to his sister’s, sometimes his plans only consisted of himself and his apartment and takeout food. Now that he wasn’t single though...he didn’t know. 

Aaron casually brought up the subject later that day during lunch. 

Hamilton was actually eating his lunch, (that Aaron had packed, of course) though they were in Hamilton’s classroom so he could get some work done at the same time. He was scowling at his salad. 

“Eugh,” Hamilton made a sound of disgust. “This salad is so sad. Why do I have to eat it again?” 

Aaron rolled his eyes, eating his own salad with gusto. “We’re not having this discussion again. You’re not as young as you think you are and can’t eat whatever crap you have stored in your desk. You actually do need to eat vegetables!”

Hamilton seemed to be enjoying himself. “But my random crap tastes so good though!” He pulled out a bag of cheetos as evidence. 

“Fine. Just trying to help.” He poked a piece of lettuce a little too forcefully, breaking his plastic fork. “Aw shit.” 

“See, what did I tell you.” Hamilton waved his tupperware container towards Aaron. “These salads are evil!”

Aaron reached across the desk and grabbed Hamilton’s fork. “Yoink. It’s not like you’re using it right now anyways.” 

“Hey! That’s mine!” 

“Why don’t you come over here and get it from me then.” 

“Don’t think I won’t.” Hamilton leaned forward as if to grab it. “You’re too far away now, I’m lazy.” He reached into his lunch bag for an apple. He chomped into it and began to type away at his computer. 

Aaron marveled at Hamilton, his brow furrowed in concentration, muttering to himself as he typed. Aaron tried to eat, but was continually getting distracted by Hamilton’s arms as he was typing. With the day half gone, the sleeves had long since been pushed up. 

Forcing himself to look away, he cleared his throat. “Hey, so I just realized that we haven’t talked about our plans for Thanksgiving yet,” Aaron said. He peeked up at Hamilton.

Hamilton finished chewing his apple before speaking, his eyes darted to the side. “Oh...right.” 

“Well, whatever you feel up to. We could go to my sister’s. I haven’t talked to her for a bit, but the invitation is always open.” Hamilton gave a half shrug. “But if family time is not your thing, I get it. It could just be the two of us. Or we could invite some friends over too. Whatever you want.” Aaron reached across the desk to squeeze Hamilton’s hand. Hamilton squeezed back quickly before drawing his hand back to rub his goatee. 

“Oh shit. Family. You have family.” He drummed his fingers on the desk now. “Are we there yet? Yes, we are. It’s almost been a year. It’s a big step, but it’s fine. Fine. The whole American Thanksgiving...with family,” he shuddered. “Well, I guess so. Yes. Yes, let’s do it.” In the midst of Hamilton’s frantic talking, Aaron stood up dragging his chair next to Hamilton’s. Once Hamilton seemed to be done, Aaron put a comforting hand on Hamilton’s leg. 

“Are you sure? You just kinda freaked out a bit.” 

Hamilton nodded. His fingers tapping even faster now. “Yes, yes. All good. All good.” 

Aaron wasn’t very reassured. “You know what. Let’s do Thanksgiving with just the two of us.” 

The tapping stopped. Hamilton turned towards him, his eyes looking relieved, though he said, “You don’t have to do this for my sake. I’ll deal with it. You should see your sister.” 

“I know. But it’ll be our first big holiday really together, so I want to spend it with just you.” He squeezed Hamilton’s leg once more. “And I don’t want to deal with other people. Who needs other people.”

Hamilton seemed to brighten up even more.

“But I don’t think I can miss my sister for Christmas then like I did last year...” Aaron had spent the previous holiday alone and had gotten an earful from his sister. Well, the actual day by himself. After that he’d called Hamilton and they got drunk and hooked up. They were at a very different place then. “I don’t think I’m allowed to miss both Thanksgiving and Christmas.” 

Hamilton smirked. “But don’t we need to celebrate our anniversary hookup? We can just spend Christmas the same as last year.” He winked. 

Aaron’s face warmed at the thought. “As fun as that was, we’re at a different stage in our relationship now, wouldn’t you say?” 

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah I know. Okay, we’ll see your sister on Christmas.” A lecherous glint appeared in his eyes. “But we still have all of break, remember…” 

“Okay. I think I can live with that.” 

 

Hamilton was more twitchy than normal the rest of the day. Even so, Aaron called his sister that night to discuss the upcoming holidays. 

She picked up after the first ring. “Aaron! So good to actually get a call from you.” 

“Hey, Sal. How are you?” 

“Pretty good, just catching up on my shows while Ronny plays.” Ronny must have heard his name because Aaron heard him question, “Who’s that?” in the background. 

“It’s your uncle. You can talk to him in a few minutes,” Sally said faintly. 

“HI UNCLE AARON!” 

Aaron chuckled and smiled warmly. 

“So what’s up?” Sally asked brightly. “We obviously miss you immensely over here! You haven’t been keeping your promise. I haven’t heard from you in a while!” 

“Sorry about that. Been kind of busy.”

“Will you be joining us for Thanksgiving? Is that why you’re calling?” 

“No. Sorry, I’m going to stay in town and...” 

Sally cut him off. “Aaron don’t just have your sad little holiday by yourself.” 

“I’m not. I’m going to have a quiet Thanksgiving with my...with...” 

“Oh? Who?” 

A horrible crushing guilt settled over him. Aaron realized he hadn’t quite mentioned how far his relationship had progressed. 

“Wait. Wait. You’re dating someone and you didn’t tell me?” 

Heart in his throat, he stammered out a reply. “Um...er...I didn’t?” Since Aaron had visited his sister last year he tried to contact her more often. He was sure he had told her about Hamilton…

“Is this the guy you mentioned last year? The one you kissed at school who annoyed you? I think you said you had a date, but I never heard how it went, so I figured it was a no-go.” 

“Well….um…” Aaron really was the worst. 

“I can’t believe you’re dating someone and you’re not going to bring him to Thanksgiving.” 

Aaron finally seemed to get control of himself.“Well..good news! I should be making my way over for Christmas..and he’s coming. He wants to go...well, sort of. It might be a mess. But we’ll be there.” 

“So who is this mystery man? I need to know!!” 

Aaron spent the next 5 minutes or so telling her a bit about Hamilton. He tried to not give too many details as they would be meeting. 

“Oh and please don’t tell Hamilton that you just found out about him. He’s going to have enough to deal with already.” 

“Hamilton? You call him Hamilton? Oh I get it. Alexander only in the bedroom, right?” 

“GOODBYE.” 

Aaron ended the call, his sister’s laughter ringing in his ears. 

 

The next morning, Aaron sleepily drove to Hamilton’s apartment. Hamilton had said that he wanted to sleep in his own bed. Aaron privately wondered if he would get much sleep at all. He was usually the one that pressured Hamilton to stop working and to go to sleep. 

Aaron yawned as he texted Hamilton when he pulled up to his apartment building. He was there earlier than normal as they had a faculty meeting before school. 

Hamilton bounded out the door and into the car a few minutes later. 

Aaron studied Hamilton’s face as he sat down buckling his seatbelt. The aura of unrest always seemed to follow Hamilton: bags under his eyes, pale skin, sloppy ponytail. Today wasn’t any different or worse than normal. Same sleepy face greeting him, Aaron seemed satisfied and smiled at him before driving away. 

“Morning. How’d you sleep?” 

“Meh, not much,” Hamilton said as he took a sip of his gigantic coffee. 

“I knew it. I didn’t sleep too well either last night. And getting up this morning was rough.” Aaron stifled another yawn against his hand. 

“Aww. Did you miss having me there, Burr?” Hamilton snaked his hand across to tickle at Aaron’s side. 

Aaron glared towards him as much as was allowed while also driving. Hamilton leaned over to kiss Aaron’s cheek, his messy stubble burning him slightly. “God, I think I actually did miss you. I think I do sleep better when you’re around.” He rubbed his eyes. “Well and you know, get into bed at a reasonable hour.” 

“Like I can get you to do anything.” 

“True.” 

The only sound for the next couple minutes was Hamilton slurping his coffee. Aaron tried to ignore it, but he was tired and couldn’t handle it anymore. “Could you stop?” 

Aaron looked over briefly to see an annoyed look on Hamilton’s face. 

“What? I’m not doing anything!” 

“Yes, you are. You keep slurping your coffee.” 

“I’m not doing it on purpose!”

“There’s some reason behind it.” 

Aaron could practically hear the eye roll. “Okay. I take back what I just said. Did not miss you. At all.” Hamilton took a big slurp from his coffee, making sure to make it as loud as possible. 

Aaron took a cleansing breath through his nose. “Please stop. I’m sorry, I’m really tired and this is stupid.” 

“Agreed.” Aaron could see Hamilton regarding him out of the corner of his eye. After a moment, he put his coffee in the cupholder. “You know. We could just move in together so we don’t have to deal with this issue anymore.” 

Aaron was glad they were already stopped at a red light. He had a sudden desire to slam on the brakes at Hamilton’s words. 

He tried to clear his face as he slowly looked towards Hamilton. “What was that?” 

_Going to his sister’s for Christmas together. Yes. They were ready._

_But moving in?_

Aaron hoped his face wouldn’t betray the inner panic he felt. Couldn’t let Hamilton know how he felt just yet. 

“We already spend so much time together anyways. It makes sense. Why pay 2 rents?” 

Aaron looked away as the light turned green. “Have you really thought about this?” 

“Well--” 

Aaron cut him off. “Whose place would we move into? Or would we get a new place? Are we even ready for this? There’s lots of things to think about.” 

“We can figure it all out later though. I think we should do it.” 

Aaron didn’t respond and Hamilton continued to talk at him the rest of the ride. 

Aaron turned into the parking lot of their school trying not to be too irritated. “Can we get through the rest of this year and Christmas first and then talk about it? One step at a time?” Aaron pulled into a parking spot and turned towards Hamilton with a smile. 

“Oh my god, Burr. Is that supposed to be a smile? I don’t think they’re supposed to be that painful.” 

Aaron made a sound of frustration and whipped open his door. 

He closed his eyes and was able to take a couple deep breaths before he heard Hamilton’s door pop open. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to lighten the mood.” Aaron opened his eyes to see Hamilton standing in front of him. He stood close and grabbed both of Aaron’s hands, lacing their fingers together. Aaron was even too tired to look around to see if anyone was watching. “I know you’re tired and this is a big talk. The thought just popped into my head. And you know how I get... But yes, we can table this talk for now.” He squeezed Aaron’s hand. 

Aaron let go of his hand before they walked into school together. “So we got way off topic, but I did talk to my sister last night. We’re all set for Christmas there.” 

“Oh right. Yeah, sounds good. ” Hamilton responded, sounding less than enthusiastic. 

“If you don’t want to go I can--” 

“No, no. I want to go,” Hamilton interrupted. 

“Are you sure, because it doesn’t sound like it.” 

They made it to the front door. Hamilton sighed, stepping to the side, and wrapped his arms tightly in front of him. 

“Fine. You caught me. Family things...are not my thing. But I know that we need to see your sister and you need to be a part of her life. I’m sorry I’m not very enthusiastic about it. I’ll try my best. But it will be hard.” 

Aaron took a step towards Hamilton to comfort him. He saw Hamilton’s eyes go wide. Turning around, he saw Jefferson coming towards them. Aaron walked out of the way so he could pass. 

“Burr. Hamilton.” Jefferson nodded to them as he opened the door. “Better get yourselves inside. Wouldn’t want to be late.” 

Hamilton glared towards the door as it closed behind Jefferson. “So don’t you worry about me, Burr. We’ll have our own little Thanksgiving and then we’ll get through this Christmas thing together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really trying to have this all finished and posted by the end of this week!


	3. Hamilton's pace is relentless

Alex had one of the best Thanksgivings of his life. It was quiet and peaceful. Burr had even made him his own turkey. 

Alex found he didn’t actually like turkey. But he appreciated it nonetheless. He smiled his way through every bite. 

Once it was over though, Christmas was looming closer and closer and Alex could feel his anxiety spiking. 

It didn’t help that he received another message from his father. 

“Hamilton, you alright?” 

“Hmm?” Alex looked away from his phone. Burr was staring at him from where he was seated on a chair. They were at Burr’s apartment. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Burr gave him a look, but then went back to his grading he was working on. 

Alex slumped further into the couch. He turned back to his phone, where the message he had just received from his father blaring and bright flashed up at him. His finger hovered over the delete button. 

“Hamilton.” 

Alex looked towards Burr again. He had now placed his pile of grading on the coffee table. “What’s wrong.” 

“Nothing. Everything’s great.” He firmly pushed his finger on the button and watched as the message dematerialized, unread. 

Alex felt his legs being moved to the side as Burr sunk down into the couch. Alex tossed his phone to the ground. “It’s really great now.” Alex sat up and pulled Burr to lie next to him. 

Burr wrapped one strong arm around Alex, using the other to gently play with his long hair. He whispered lightly in his ear. “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on in that brilliant head of yours.” 

“Ooh, brilliant am I? If you’re trying to butter me up, it’s working.” 

Burr continued to massage his hair delicately. “You do seem stressed, are you worried about Christmas? Only a few more days left of school.” 

Alex tensed up immediately. “Don’t remind me. Can we please go back to talking about my head and how brilliant it is?” 

“What are you worried about, my sister will love you.” 

Alex closed his eyes, trying to relax as Burr started rubbing his shoulders. “What happened to the Burr that was always telling me to talk less. Where’s that guy? You know it’s not your sister that I’m worried about. Just family holidays in general. I’ve told you this.” 

“But you’ll just get to talk about yourself the whole time. Your favorite subject.” 

“Ha-ha. You’ve really been perfecting that wit, Burr.” 

“I try.” They both fell silent for a few moments as Burr worked out the stress in Alex’s shoulders. 

The massage took a turn as Burr’s hands kneaded their way down Alex’s back and a breathy sigh escaped. Alex felt Burr’s lips grazing his ear. “You like that, Alexander?” His pants became very tight and uncomfortable. He pulled one of Burr’s hands towards his ever increasing erection. 

“Fuck yes,” Alex responded enthusiastically, leaning into Burr’s rough grip. 

“Tell me what else you like...” Burr said into his ear, nibbling on it. 

Alex talked his way through as per usual. Their work clothes were scattered across the living room as they lay spooning on the couch. 

“Do you feel any better?” Burr said rubbing his hand soothingly against Hamilton's arm. 

“For now.”

“Good.” They sat in blissful post-coital silence for a few moments. Alex could feel himself starting to drift off before jerking awake remembering all the work he had to finish for school tomorrow. He pushed Burr’s arm gently off and sat up. 

Burr blinked awake at Alex’s movement. 

Hamilton sat still on the edge of the couch for a moment. “If you must know. It was another message from my father. I deleted it right away. Without even reading it.” 

Burr popped up next to him. “Wow. I’m proud of you. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.” 

“I just want this year to be over. But at least I have you.” Alex grabbed one of Burr’s hands. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

 

Alex flew around his apartment scrambling to pack as Burr waited by the door. Alex could almost hear his foot tapping, and Burr kept taking out his phone. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex said for what felt like the 100th time that morning. 

“I just don’t know why you didn’t pack last night. When I told you to,” Burr muttered not completely under his breath. 

Alex tried not to roll his eyes. The trip to Burr’s sister’s was already off to a rough start. But he couldn’t help himself. Alex also couldn’t help that he had constantly snoozed his alarm that morning and then Burr was there buzzing his doorbell while he was still in bed. 

Burr had tried to be sympathetic when he first arrived and saw Alex was not ready and anxious. But now as Alex was taking longer and longer...he seemed pissed. Alex just needed to make sure he had everything. And he needed to find his nice clothes and iron them to make sure they looked their best for meeting Burr’s family. And wrap his gifts. And make sure all the lights were off. And make sure everything was unplugged. And...a million other things his brain cooked up as he ran around. 

Once his bag was finally packed he placed it down in front of the door. Alex looked around his apartment, his mind whirling with what he might have forgotten. 

“Hamilton. Everything’s fine. You have everything you need and everything is turned off. Don’t worry.” 

“But what if I forgot something. I don’t need to put your sister out.” 

“She doesn’t mind.” Burr picked up Alex’s bag and nudged him with his shoulder. 

Alex didn’t move, his mind still going through the list of things he would need. He felt a tug on his hand. 

“Hamilton. Seriously, we need to go. You’re really going to put my sister out if we’re late.” 

Alex let himself be pulled from his apartment. Burr closed and locked the door with the key that he already had to Alex’s place. 

“Shit. I forgot my phone.”

Burr’s sigh echoed down the hallway. 

 

Alex got in the car and tried to calm himself down. Burr hadn’t said much since they left his apartment. He now sat beside him and started the car, waiting a few moments while it warmed up. Alex looked over and saw a two mugs of coffee in the cup holders and bagels from his favorite place sitting in a brown paper bag. Burr was about to put the car into drive when Alex covered his hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t ready this morning. Thanks for putting up with me.” He grabbed the coffee tentatively. “This is for me right?”

“No, it’s for my other boyfriend.” Burr looked over, looking happier than he had all morning. “This will be good for us. You drive me crazy, but I know this is not your thing. Thanks for coming with me.” He gave Alex a light kiss before driving away. 

Alex ate his bagel and drank his coffee while only mildly arguing with Burr when he wanted to listen to his podcasts at the start of the car ride. “But the ones you listen to are so boring,” he insisted. 

“Too bad. Driver’s choice.” 

“Okay. I’ll drive then,” Alex said smiling around his mug of coffee. That happened once when Burr was too drunk to drive. Burr sobered up very quickly and got very angry about Alex’s driving skills. It wasn’t like they got in an accident. You needed to be aggressive driving in the city.

“Never, ever again.” 

Even with the coffee he had drunk, Alex could feel his eyelids getting heavy as soon as the first podcast started. He drifted asleep, the sound of the host announcing their sponsor fading out. 

Alex awoke to a slight poke to his side. He groaned and twisted his neck from its uncomfortable position. In his sleep his head had drifted towards the car door. 

They were still moving, the droning of a podcast echoing around the car. “Finally you’re awake.” Burr turned down the volume. 

“Where are we?” Alex looked around, not recognizing the area. Since moving to New York, he had rarely ventured outside of it. 

“About 10 minutes away. I wanted to give you the chance to freshen up before we got there. Pretty sure you were drooling.” 

Horrified, Alex wiped his mouth and found a patch of wetness on his goatee. “Oh god. I’m sorry. You should have woken me sooner. I wanted to keep you company.” 

“I did try to wake you a few times, but you just whined at me and kept on sawing away. I felt like you needed the sleep anyways.”

“Sorry anyways. I’m going to say that word a lot today apparently.” He rubbed his face to diminish any signs of sleep. Opening his visor, he checked himself out in the mirror. He looked mildly better than he had earlier that morning when he had quickly washed up. He pulled his hairtie out and brushed his fingers through his hair. “What do you think. Hair down or up?” 

Burr glanced over, one side of his mouth quirked. “Up.” 

Alex started to pull his hair. “Pony or bun?” 

“You haven’t done a bun in a while. I think it looks nice.” Burr pulled off at the next highway exit. 

“Are we almost there?” 

“Yep. Just a few more minutes.” 

Alex’s heart started racing. He checked himself out in the mirror one more time before flipping the visor back. His face, as always, looked every bit as worried as he felt. He had hoped spending so much time with Burr would have rubbed off on him and he would be able to appear calm and collected whilst the anxiety brewed inside. No such luck. 

Burr seemed to notice as well. 

“Alexander. It's fine,” Burr said. “I would try and comfort you right now, but I need to look at the map, I always forget which street to turn down. Would you hand me my phone?” 

Burr, ever the safe driver, actually started to pull over to the side of the road. “What are you doing? I can look it up.” 

“I didn’t want to give you anything else to worry about,” Burr said. He was still pulling over. Alex swiped the phone open and started to look at the map. The address had already been typed in and Alex clicked to find the directions. 

“Come on. Let me do it,” Burr said reaching over. 

Alex turned his back. “You don’t even trust me to look up directions? I’m not a child,” Alex whined, realizing he sounded very much like a child. He placed the phone in the middle console, the robotic voice dictating the next turn they needed to make. “Wow, look I did it.” 

Burr glared at him and grabbed his phone, silencing the voice. “If you had just let me do it. Google maps has it wrong. It always takes you down the wrong street. I need to look it up for myself.” 

Alex muttered under his breath darkly and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. 

“You could have just told me that in the first place,” Alex said as they started driving again. Arguing with Burr was much easier than thinking about what he was just about to get himself into. 

Burr looked like he was going to argue back for a moment before his face softened. “Hamilton. I know what you’re doing.” 

“I’m not _doing_ anything. I--” 

“Starting an argument right now is not going to help you.” 

Alex’s mouth snapped closed.

They drove down a few nicely tree-lined suburban streets before they pulled into the driveway of a moderately sized Cape Cod. 

Burr parked the car and turned off the engine. 

“I’m sorry... _again_ ,” Alex said. “I’m really going to try to do this.” 

Burr turned in his seat. “You don’t need to keep apologizing. It doesn’t suit you.” He grabbed both of Alex’s shaking, twitching hands and kissed them lightly. “Thank you for being here. We’ll get through this.” 

They stepped out into the cold and grabbing their suitcases, made their way towards Sally’s house.


	4. Your family brings out a different side of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of why I wrote this fanfic is so that I could wrote more of Burr's nephew Ronny. He finally makes an appearance!

The door opened just as Aaron lifted his hand to knock. 

“Aaron!” Sally shouted. She held onto him tightly with a hug. Once she let go she turned towards Hamilton with a warm smile. 

“And you must be Alexander. Heard so much about you.” 

Despite the wild, anxious thoughts Aaron was sure were bouncing around his head, Hamilton greeted her with a genuine smile. “Hi, Sally. And you can call me Alex.” He extended his hand. A slightly shaking hand. 

Sally didn’t seem to notice and pushed his hand aside. She instead enveloped him in a hug. “Sorry, but we hug in this family.” 

Hamilton looked amused as she squeezed him. “You would never know the Burrs were the hugging type,” Hamilton said as Sally let him go, giving Aaron a wink. She grabbed his suitcase with a laugh. 

“I know he doesn’t look it, but Aaron is actually quite the hugger. Or at least he was as a child. I know he still is deep down.” 

“Oh really. I must hear more of child Burr.” 

Aaron was relieved that Hamilton was joking and seemed more relaxed. They walked into the house. As Aaron closed the door, his nephew Ronny came barreling down the stairs with a yell. 

Ronny latched onto Aaron’s legs. Aaron lifted him to hug him properly. “Wow, you are huge! I don’t think I can call you little man anymore.” 

Ronny giggled, holding onto him tight. As Aaron set him down, Ronny looked towards Hamilton with an odd look on his face. “Who’s that?”

Hamilton kneeled down, putting his hand out. “Hey, Ronny. I’m your Uncle’s friend Alex. Nice to meet you.” 

Ronny usually wasn’t a shy child, but ran toward his mother and hid behind her legs. Hamilton looked mildly offended. Aaron knew he prided himself on being great with kids. He seemed to shake it off easily and stood up. “Well, I know you’re busy, little Ronny. We’ll get to know each other later.” 

Sally looked down at her son with a bemused look. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but I’ll let you two get settled in. Tap’s family is already here. The kids are going to open their Christmas elf gifts, but you can join us whenever you’re ready.” She directed them towards the stairs. 

Hamilton stared at Aaron wide-eyed as soon as Sally walked away. Aaron was grateful they would have a moment alone before greeting the rest of the family. Aaron led Hamilton up the stairs and into the guest bedroom. 

Hamilton put his suitcase down and sunk down onto the queen bed. “Well I met your sister, time to go now right?” Hamilton said, attempting to sound casual. 

“You did fine, Ronny will warm up to you. Took me a while right?” Aaron rubbed his hand up and down Hamilton’s arm. 

“If he’s anything like you, that will take a long time. But I’m up to the the challenge. Haven’t met a Burr I don’t like,” Hamilton said waggling his eyebrows. 

“You know Ronny’s not a Burr right? My--” 

“Gotta ruin it, didn’t you Burr,” Hamilton said talking over him. 

“-- sister kept her name, but Ronny is Aaron Reeve.” 

“Always a killjoy. But I like you anyways.” Hamilton grinned mischievously and pushed Aaron into the bed. Hamilton hovered above him, his hands on Aaron’s shoulders.

“Hamilton, what--” 

Swooping down, Hamilton cut off Aaron with a rough kiss. 

Aaron kissed back for a few moments before turning his head away. Hamilton’s nose crashed into Aaron’s cheek. “Hey you ruined a good moment!” Hamilton said loud into his ear. 

Aaron sat up pushing Hamilton away. “It’s not the time.”

Hamilton shook his head sighing dramatically. “I know. I know.” 

Aaron stood up and held out his hand. “Can’t avoid it any longer. Come on, we have to go downstairs.” 

Hamilton sat up seeming to be psyching himself up. “Let me just go to the bathroom and wash up properly and then we’ll go down.” 

A few minutes later they headed into the living room where the whole family was sitting around the Christmas tree. 

Everyone looked up when they walked in. 

The pair received a chorus of smiles and a few ‘Hey Aarons!’ as they moved towards an empty couch by the window. 

Aaron hadn’t seen most of the people seated around the room in many years. Hell, he didn’t even know that some of the kids excitedly admiring their pajamas right now even existed. 

As Aaron had explained to Hamilton a few weeks ago, Tapping’s family had a tradition where they received pajamas on Christmas Eve to wear for Christmas morning from the ‘Christmas elf.’ The Reeve family usually came to Sally’s house for Christmas Eve and wanted Ronny to participate in their tradition. 

Aaron wasn't a huge fan of the big family traditions either. And was looking forward to when the Reeve family would be taking off. 

As soon as they sat down, Tapping came towards them, holding two small wrapped presents in one hand. 

“Hey Aaron!” Tapping greeted, holding out his hand. 

Aaron shook his hand. “Hey Tap.” He gestured towards Hamilton. “I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Alexander.” 

“Alexander! We’re so excited to have you.” He reached out his hand enthusiastically, which Hamilton took with a smile.

“Just call me Alex.” 

“Alex. Okay! Well we’re so happy to see our Aaron has found someone finally. It’s been so long since he’s even--”

“Tap darling, I don’t think that Alex wants to hear all of that,” Sally said, appearing next to her husband. 

Aaron caught his sister’s eye and mouthed ‘Thank you.’

Sally winked back at him. “Well, Tap, give the boys their gifts!” 

“Oh right!” Tap held out the two small lumpy packages to Hamilton and Aaron, each bearing their own name in a fancy script. 

Aaron grabbed his package and looked at Hamilton to gauge his reaction. 

Hamilton was staring at his gift as if he didn’t quite know what to do with it. Aaron started opening his hoping that would prompt Hamilton to open his as well. Inside was a pair of purple flannel pajama pants. “Oh cool, thanks!” Aaron said holding them up and tossing the paper to the side. 

Hamilton was still just sitting there, package in his hand. Aaron had rarely seen him look so uncomfortable. 

“Alex, you can open yours if you want,” Sally said. 

Hamilton starting pushing the gift into Sally’s hand. “I’m sorry, but you don’t have to give me anything.” 

Sally shook her head and refused to take it. “It’s not from me, it’s from the ‘Christmas Elf,’” she said with a wink. 

Aaron noticed that some of the Reeve family was now watching them. He tried to subtly nudge Hamilton. “Just open it.”

Ronny came toddling over. “Uncle Aaron let’s see your jammies!” He jumped up on the couch next to Aaron. But Aaron only had eyes for Hamilton. 

Hamilton looked around and saw almost the whole room watching him. With an almost grimace on his face, he opened the gift. Inside was a pair of blue flannel pajama pants. 

“Th-thanks,” he said. He put the pajamas to the side and his eyes were fixed on his knees. Aaron wanted nothing more than to pull Hamilton from the room right now. His sister had asked about gifts for Hamilton, and Aaron told her not to bother, but she insisted. He really didn’t think that Hamilton would have this kind of reaction though.

“Uncle Aaron!! Uncle!” Ronny was pulling on his arm. Aaron forced himself to look away from Hamilton. “Let’s see yours! Look at mine!” Ronny held up his Ninja Turtle pajamas for inspection. 

Aaron held up his pajamas for Ronny and saw that Sally and Tap had walked away; the rest of the family had finally looked away too, the renewed noises of other conversation ringing around them. 

“Oh wow! Those are pretty cool, my man,” Aaron said.

Ronny waved his pajamas towards Hamilton now. “Did you see, did you see?” 

Hamilton didn’t seem to realize Ronny was speaking to him. His eyes were still fixed on his knees. 

Aaron lightly poked his leg. “Hey...Hamilton.”

With seemingly great difficulty, he looked up at Aaron. Aaron nudged his head towards Ronny. 

Ronny was still adorably waving the pajamas near Hamilton’s shoulder. “Look, look!” 

A smile slowly broke out across his face. “Wow, those are awesome. I love the turtles. Who’s your favorite?” 

Ronny smiled back bouncing up and down on the couch. “Mikey!” 

“Oh yeah, he’s hilarious. Sorry but I gotta go with my dude, Leo,” Hamilton responded. 

“He’s got such a cool sword!” 

“Yeah he does.” 

“Did you get jammies too?” 

“Uh--yeah.” The smile dropped from his face. He held up his new pajamas. 

“Blue for Leo!” Ronny yelled out. That seemed to make Hamilton smile again. For now. 

“And you got Donny’s color, Uncle!” Ronny pointed towards Aaron’s pajamas. 

“Hey you’re right, little man!” 

Ronny was now pulling on Hamilton’s sleeve. “Can we play turtles later?” 

“I’d love to, Ronny!” He held up his hand for a high five. Ronny hit his hand and ran away to his cousins. 

Aaron turned towards Hamilton. “Hey I think you have a new friend! That didn’t take long at all.” 

Aaron watched as the smile melted off of Hamilton's face. He sat back on the couch, arms twisted. “Why didn’t you tell me they were going to get me gifts,” he bit out. 

Aaron looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. Everyone seemed to be absorbed in their own conversation. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I tried to tell my sister, but she insisted. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

“Do you even know me at all?” His voiced started to rise.

“Hey, keep it down. We don’t need everyone knowing our business.” 

Hamilton closed his eyes. “This is harder than I thought it would be.” He took a deep breath. “I’m trying though.” 

“It’s just a small gift. Don’t worry about it.” Aaron started to reach out for Hamilton, but froze, remembering where he was. He would never hear the end of it from his sister. 

“I don’t like accepting gifts from people. Especially people I don’t even know.” 

“I’ve given you gifts and you were fine,” Aaron pointed out. 

Hamilton gave him a look. “But you’re Burr. Of course the normal rules don’t apply.” 

Aaron put his hands up. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to tell my sister.” 

“I’m sorry too.” Another dramatic sigh. “I probably made too much of a scene. Everyone will be talking about it... For once I just wanted to remain low key. Not a great start…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's past Christmas now, but thanks for still reading!
> 
> Tumblr: [emilyinthebluebox](http://emilyinthebluebox.tumblr.com/)


	5. I’ve been living without a family since I was a child

Aaron and Hamilton were sitting on the couch talking with one of Tap’s sisters. Well, Hamilton was doing much of the talking, as always. Aaron nodded and smiled at the right times. He hoped. Hamilton seemed more in his element now, talking about himself. 

Hamilton was finishing telling a story about one of their _favorite_ students. “And then this kid decided to poke holes in my waterbottle. Got water all over my desk. Most of the kids are wonderful, but there’s a couple that love to test you.” 

Tap’s sister-- _is her name Margaret?_ \--smiled. “It’s so great that you’re both teachers.” 

Aaron nodded, but was not really paying attention. He noticed Sally was heading their way.

“Yeah, I love my job. I’m helping to mold the future in a small way,” Hamilton said. 

“And you two work for the same school?” 

Hamilton nodded. “Yeah and we both coach the speech team.” 

“How does that work, dating and working together?” 

Hamilton nudged his foot. “Oh, yeah. It’s fine,” Aaron said.

Hamilton rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not dating him for his eloquence.” 

Sally was now standing next to the couch. “Hey, sorry to interrupt. But can I borrow Aaron for a second?” 

Aaron had never been more grateful to get out of a conversation. He did feel kind of bad leaving Hamilton alone, but he seemed to be doing okay for the moment. 

But Hamilton still gave him a death glare as Aaron stood up and left the living room with his sister. 

“Is Alex okay?” Sally asked as soon as they were alone in the kitchen. 

“I think so. Well, maybe not now that we left him with a random relative, but he’s at least making conversation.” 

She leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. “Really? Then what was that all about with the pajamas? It was only pajamas and he freaked out. Everyone’s been talking about it.” 

_Oh great._ He would not be telling Hamilton that. “Oh...yeah I don’t know. I asked him about it, and he really doesn’t like getting gifts.” 

“And you didn’t know that before?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“No. I’ve given him gifts and he’s never reacted like that. I think it must be from people he doesn't know.” 

“Hmm. Well I did get him something else, but I don’t want to upset him. I’ll let you take it home and you can give it to him later.” 

“Yeah that sounds good.” Aaron started to walk back towards the living room--he really did need to get back to Hamilton. Sally grabbed his arm lightly to stop him. 

“Let me know if there’s anything else we can do to make him more comfortable. He really doesn’t seem to be having a good time.” 

“I told you it would be like this.” Aaron broke hold from her grip and continued walking to the living room. 

Aaron looked towards Hamilton from the edge of the living room. He was now sitting on the couch by himself looking distressed as he watched the kids playing beneath the tree. _Fuck._ He should never have left him. Aaron had to go over there to comfort him. 

“Well he must really care for you, if he’s putting himself through this,” Sally said in his ear.

Aaron could feel his face heating up. 

“Aww. Little brother! You love him. Wow. Never thought that would happen again!”

Aaron pouted forcing himself to turn away from Hamilton. “Shut up. I do not.” That was a lie. He was pretty sure he did, but knew he couldn’t say it out loud. Not even to his sister. Especially since he hadn’t told Hamilton yet. It might be becoming weird now--it was almost a year since they started dating--but...it had been so long since he had loved someone. And it was Hamilton. _Hamilton._ It had at be at the right moment. 

Their relationship had started so casually; he never thought it would last this long. Before Hamilton agreed to come with Aaron for Christmas and announced he thought they should move in together, he had the private worry that it was still casual for Hamilton. He only allowed himself to wonder late at night as he sat up listening to Hamilton typing in the next room. Hamilton seemed in it for the long haul now, though. He didn’t know what they were waiting for. He was sort of hoping Hamilton would do it first, the open loudmouth he was. There had been a few moments Aaron thought Hamilton would, his eyes too open, showing every emotion. 

But he hadn’t, and Aaron hadn’t.

“Well, you certainly have come along way from the little 5 year old boy who stomped home proclaiming: ‘I love Theodosia!’’ Sally declared, interrupting his thoughts.

Aaron burst out laughing. “Oh my god. I forgot about that.” 

“How could you forget your first heartache? You came home crying the next day when she rejected you.” 

Aaron laughed again and glanced at Hamilton, who was staring off with what looked like tears in his eyes. 

“Oh shit. I gotta go.”  
\------

Alex gave it his best effort, he really did. He made small talk with Burr’s brother in law’s family. With and without Burr’s help. He helped set the table. He laughed at all of Tap’s stupid jokes. Burr seemed to notice and he subtly squeezed his leg under the table a few times. 

But each passing happy family moment was another blow. Another tiny reminder that he never had a family--not like this. 

As he sat watching the happy kids playing beneath the tree, he struggled to find a moment when he felt the kind of childish ecstasy he saw there. He knew he must have. He tried not to dwell on memories of his childhood too often, but he couldn’t help but see his mother in his mind’s eye-- behind every corner. 

It was pathetic. _Pathetic._

And now he was sitting by himself and Burr was over there looking over at him with such _concern_ in his eyes. Alex was an expert Burr face reader at the point, so it might not have come across to everyone else. He hoped. 

He had a sudden desire to fling open the door and run out into the cold December air and never look back. He didn’t think Burr would come with him, though, and he needed him too much. 

He couldn’t drag Burr away from this either. He couldn’t deny Burr his family. Burr had family. He was an orphan too, but he had his sister.

Burr stood talking to Sally, his eyes twinkling as he laughed. Alex’s chest heaved with jealousy. 

Alex had that once--long ago. 

_Alex was in a tiny bed, nestled close to his brother. There was a shout from the other room. James grabbed his hand tightly. Alex clung to him. “Shh, little Alex. I got you.”_

Alex felt his eyes grow misty. He turned with a sniff, quickly bringing his hand up to wipe them. 

And then Burr was there putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” 

Hamilton looked up and saw nothing but pity. “Please don’t ask me that right now,” Alex pleaded. He stood up, shoving off Aaron’s hand. 

“Well thank you for coming. It was lovely having you!” Alex heard Sally proclaim loudly. 

He looked around. Tap’s family seemed to be moving towards leaving. A couple were getting on coats, while others were saying their goodbyes. 

“Aaron, Alex!” Sally gestured towards them. 

Burr simply nodded and they moved to say goodbye with smiles plastered on their faces. 

Alex was relieved to say goodbye to the group. He hoped things would be easier with just Sally, Tap, Ronny, and Burr. 

 

Sally closed the door behind the group and leaned against it. “Wooh. Glad that’s over.” 

Tap laughed good-naturedly. He kissed her cheek. “Thanks, sweetie.” 

“Now _Santa_ ,” she whispered, peering into the other room where Ronny was playing, “has to return to the workshop for a little bit. He’s a little behind.” Sally winked. “We’ll be back shortly. Keep an eye on Ronny.” 

She beckoned her husband, who followed her up the stairs. 

Burr looked towards his nephew briefly before turning back to Alex. “You doing okay?” He lightly placed his hand on Alex’s arm.

Alex shrugged, his eyes roaming the ceiling. “Trying my best.” 

Burr stepped closer. “You looked a little out of it for a moment back there. Need to talk about it?” 

Alex crossed his arms across his chest. “No, and I don’t want your pity.” Closing himself off right now seemed like the best option.

Burr soothingly rubbed Alex’s arm now. Alex took a step away. 

“Don’t you think it would be better if you talked about it?” 

“Here you go again. I miss those good old days.” Alex returned to the living room, joining Ronny on the floor.

“Alexander--” 

Alex ignored him. “Hey, Ronny. Can I join you?” 

Ronny answered by presenting Alex with a Leonardo toy. “We have to fight the evil Shredder now!” 

Alex grabbed the toy and started making action sounds while battling imaginary villains. Burr sat awkwardly to the side watching them, something unidentifiable hiding in his eyes. 

Burr finally joined in a few minutes later and was now holding Donatello, who Alex insisted he have. Burr had never been a fan of the Ninja Turtles, but Alex had nodded vigorously and pressed the toy into his hand. “This guy would be your favorite for sure, Burr!” 

Sally and Tapping eventually came back, wearing what Alex assumed were their new pajamas. “Time for our jammies and Christmas movies!” 

Playing with Ronny had improved Alex’s mood greatly. “I bet I can change faster than you, Ronny!” He yelled grabbing his pajamas and basically sprinting out of the room. Ronny trailed behind him giggling.

Alex ran to the guest room tossing his nice dress pants on top of his luggage and pulling on his new blue pants. He paused, staring down at them with a frown. 

“Well, you seem to have a found a new friend.” Alex had been so caught up in his own head that he didn’t notice Burr had made his way into their room. He started to change into his own new pajamas. 

“Oh--yeah.” He shook his head. “Ronny’s a lot of fun. You really do need to see that kid more often.” 

“I know. I love that kid a lot.” 

“He’s great.” 

Alex took off his shirt and threw it to the side. He rummaged through his bag and grabbed a pajama shirt he had brought with. He pulled it on and started to race his way out of the room. 

“Hamilton.” Burr placed a hand on his arm. Alex glanced down at it. “Wait.” Burr pulled Alex towards him. “I’m worried about you,” Burr said delicately, holding both of his hands. 

As quickly as Alex’s good mood came, it vanished with the pity he saw in Burr’s eyes. This kept happening. Alex needed to put a stop to it. 

Alex wrenched his hands away, glaring at Burr. “Well stop worrying. I don’t want your goddamn pity. I said this would be hard. And it fucking is. But I’m doing this for you.” He poked Burr in the chest, hard, hoping it stung at least a little. 

He almost felt bad when he saw the hurt in Burr’s eyes. But then the mask went up, and he stepped away from Alex, a distant look on his face. 

He didn’t let that stop him and he pushed on. “So stop with the doe eyes. And wanting to talk. I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to get through this and you constantly looking at me like I’m so fucking delicate doesn’t help. Okay?!” 

Burr nodded once firmly and then his chin snapped to his chest. Alex flew past him and pulled open the door. 

He stomped down the stairs muttering angrily to himself. “Fuckin’ Burr. Why did I even do this for him? I don’t want to be here. _I don’t want to be here._ Fuckin’ pity from him? Pfft.” 

He stopped short in the doorway to the living room, seeming to remember where he was. Ronny noticed him immediately and waved. “Haha, Alex I won!” Ronny was snuggled up on a couch next to his parents.

“What did you win?” Alex asked cheerlessly, still lingering in the doorway. 

“Remember we were racing to see who could get ready faster?” His parents looked on in amusement.

Alex tried to laugh, it got stuck in his throat. “Oh--right. You won. Congrats little bud.” 

Sally and Tap shared a brief look. Alex unfortunately noticed and felt his face heating up. He tried to smile to cover it up. He hoped they didn’t realize how much of a basket case he actually was. He was already getting it from Burr, he didn’t want any more concern from anyone else. 

“Do you wanna watch _Elf_ with us? It’s my favorite movie.” It was the last thing that Alex wanted right now, but if he was going to try to continue with this charade of being happy, he couldn’t say no. 

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” Alex turned and went towards the kitchen. He needed a moment to compose himself. 

_Wait. No._

Alex was a stranger imposing on this beautiful family as they tried to spend a peaceful holiday. He wasn’t Burr. He couldn’t hide his feelings; he was sure they were all over his face. He couldn’t push his baggage away. He would be a burden to them. He would make an excuse and go upstairs. That’s what he’d do. Say he has a headache or something. Burr would get it. Wait, would Burr be mad at him though? He just acted like a complete jackass--

“Alex?” 

Alex froze his thoughts coming to a halt, his hand on a cabinet. 

He turned to find Sally standing there. “Sorry, I was just going to get some water.” 

Sally smiled waving her hands. “Don’t be silly, of course that’s fine. Here--” She pulled out a bottle of wine. “You can have something a little stronger too, if you want.” 

Alex found himself nodding despite himself.

_Make an excuse. You don’t have to do this!_

She poured 3 hefty glasses and held one out for him. He grabbed it. 

“Where’s Aaron? He might want some as well.” She took out another glass and poured the rest of the bottle. 

_Here’s your chance. You can go and patch things up with him._

“Oh--um. Upstairs still I think.” Alex could feel the pink in his cheeks, his angry words from earlier ringing in his ears. 

Sally looked like she was going to say something about it, but she simply grabbed two of the glasses. “Would you mind grabbing Aaron’s?” 

Though his mind was still roaring at him, he found himself taking the other glass of wine and following Sally into the living room. 

But Burr was there, his new purple pajama pants on, sitting on the loveseat, his face still a cold neutral mask. Alex tentatively approached him and placed his glass of wine down. “Here, Burr--uhh Aaron,” he said, some of the wine splashing onto to the coffee table. 

Alex’s anger had mostly disintegrated at this point; he was ready to move past this for now, if Burr was. 

Burr’s lips twisted. He snorted. “Thanks.” _Tension averted?_

Tap gave them a look. “Hah, Burr? You two are ridiculous.” 

Alex and Burr looked over at each other at the exact same time, Alex’s own embarrassment mirrored on Burr’s face. 

Burr shrugged, which Alex took to mean “We’re good.” 

Alex broke the eye contact and saw that Sally and Tap were watching them intensely. Ronny’s eyes were still glued to the TV, unaware of the awkwardness. Alex knew he’d now missed his chance to leave. He didn’t want to give them any more reason to worry and wonder, so he sat down next to Burr. 

Alex tentatively sat further from Burr than he normally would, still testing the waters. However Burr looped his hand with Alex’s, squeezing it. Burr wasn’t looking at him, but Alex could see the corner of his mouth quirking up. 

Alex breathed a sigh of relief and leaned over to Burr. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in his ear. 

“I know. Don’t worry about it.” 

Alex felt satisfied for the moment and let himself focus on the movie. Though he hadn’t wanted to watch the movie and had never seen it, he found himself laughing out loud at parts, and lost himself in the silly moments. He thought maybe he had misjudged the whole genre of movies, but then the heartwarming parts came in and he remembered why this was not something he liked. 

But Burr was there, his warm steady hand gently caressing under the blanket throughout the movie. 

Alex was more entertained with Ronny, who was intensely glued to the TV for most of the movie. He was a trooper, making it almost to the end. But then eyes got droopy and he passed out across his Dad’s lap. 

Sally had come to refill their wine glasses a couple of times through the movie and the wine seemed to have the same effect on the two of them. Burr kept leaning on Alex more and more as the movie went on and a little bit after Ronny, Alex’s noticed Burr’s eyelids fluttering. “You gotta stay awake,” Alex said. Burr made a noise, but then passed out learning heavily against Alex’s arm. 

Alex didn’t last too much longer. 

He awoke as the end credits rolled, splayed against Burr. Tap and Ronny were already gone, and Sally was tiding up, a half folded blanket in her hand. 

Alex sheepishly smiled at her, rubbing his eyes. 

Sally laughed quietly. “Wine always does this to him,” she said softly, pointing towards her brother. 

Alex smiled, gazing down at Burr’s peaceful face. He sat up, nudging Burr gently. 

“Hey sleepyhead. Let’s go upstairs.” 

Burr blinked slowly up at him, his eyebrows knitted close together. “Hamil..ton? Wha--” 

Alex nudged him again and stood up. “It’s time to go to bed. If we don’t go to bed Santa won’t come!” 

Burr still looked adorably confused. Alex rolled his eyes and reached out his hand. “Come on, time to get up.” 

Sally seemed to have disappeared, for which Alex was grateful. 

Burr took his hand and staggered off the couch. “Such an old man. Can’t even make it through one kids movie,” Alex said. 

Burr flapped a hand at him. 

After downing a couple glasses of water, Alex followed Burr up the stairs. 

Burr plopped into bed without washing up and he was sound asleep on top of the covers when Alex came back from the bathroom. Burr soundlessly got under the covers when Alex laid down and turned away, falling easily asleep once more. Alex chuckled to himself and propped his pillow. 

He sighed, his mind running through the whole day. His emotions and been up and down since he had left his apartment that morning. Every time he thought he was doing okay, something would happen and he would get upset or yell at Burr for just trying to help. He rubbed his hands over his face starting to think about tomorrow morning. Christmas morning. He could feel the panic rising in his chest imaging sitting around the tree with Burr’s family. And this was _normal_ for them. Sitting around a tree with your family and opening gifts surrounded by people you love. 

He took a steadying breath. He had to get a hold of himself. Burr was being a saint and Alex didn’t know how much longer he would deal. He was keeping too much inside and Alex knew he would burst soon and--it wouldn’t be good. 

Alex picked up his phone from the side table and started scrolling through it, hoping that would calm him down. 

“Hey, put it away. Go to sleep,” Burr murmured sleepily beside him. He threw an arm across Alex’s stomach. Alex turned to look at him, his eyes were still squeezed shut. 

“Sorry, I’ll turn down the screen so it doesn’t bother you.” Alex turned away and dimmed the screen. 

“It’s bothering me that you’re not asleep. Ronny will wake us up early..” Burr was now right behind him, rubbing his shoulders. 

“I’ll go to sleep soon,” Alex said lying on his side and scrolling through Facebook. 

“No you won’t,” Burr responded sounding more awake. 

“We’ve talked about this before, I just don’t need the same amount of sleep as you do,” Alex said, glad to fall into their familiar banter. 

“Bullshit. You overslept this morning and yet still slept in the car.” Alex heard the bed squeak as Burr sat up. 

“A moment of weakness, what can I say.” Alex shrugged and clicked over to twitter. 

“Hamilton, come on. You’ve had a rough day. I know we’re not talking about it, but sleeping will help you.” 

Alex opened his mouth all ready to continue to fight back, but he simply sighed placing his phone on the table. “Fine.” 

“Wow, really? That was easy.” Burr wrapped his arms around Alex, pulling him towards him. 

Alex stroked Burr’s strong arm that was going across his middle. 

“I do listen to you sometimes.” 

“I may die of shock right here.” 

Alex lay awake for what felt like a few minutes, content in his boyfriend’s arms. He looked over at the bright light of the clock on the side table. It read 12:05. 

“Hey, Burr. Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas…” Burr muttered back at him. 

“Thank you for putting up with me. I don’t deserve you.” 

“I love you,” Burr said, sleep heavy in his voice. 

Alex’s heart stopped. 

“What was that?”

Burr’s only response was a soft snore.


	6. Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit

Aaron awoke the next morning to a loud yell accompanied by the sound of running through the hallway. “Merry Christmas!” He felt like he had just laid down on the bed after the movie. He kept his eyes closed. 

The door whipped open. “Come on, time to get up! Santa came!” Ronny yelled. The pattering of feet down the hall again. 

Aaron slowly opened his eyes, a small stream of light peaking through the blinds. His back was to Hamilton. He leaned over. Hamilton was still sound asleep, his hair splayed across the pillow, breathing deeply. 

Aaron gazed at Hamilton, taking in how peaceful and calm he looked, not wanting to wake him. That would change things quickly. 

Aaron heard a squeak of the floor. He turned and saw his nephew peeking into the room again. “Mom and Dad said we can’t start without you. Can you please come?” Ronny gave him a pitiful look. 

“Of course, just give us a minute?” 

Ronny ran out of the room. “MOM. DAD. THEY’RE COMING!” 

Aaron snickered, checking on Hamilton once more. He was still sleeping, he couldn’t believe it. Aaron rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Aaron vaguely recalled arguing with him last night about being on his phone, he probably stayed on it for a long time. 

Aaron knew it was like sticking his hand to poke a sleeping bear, but he still reached out and shook Hamilton’s shoulder. 

He grumbled and rolled his head deeper into his pillow. 

The steady breathing resumed. 

This was a routine Aaron was quite familiar with on weekends when they had plans and Hamilton had been up late doing schoolwork. During the weekdays Aaron rarely saw him in bed. He was always up before Aaron, and he went to bed after him. 

But he had been through a lot yesterday and making him wake up and be confronted by it all again would be cruel. Aaron reached out and smoothed back a few dark flyaways from Hamilton’s forehead. “Merry Christmas, Hamilton,” he said gently into Hamilton’s ear. 

Hamilton whined and squeezed his eyes even tighter. “Don’t worry, I’m going to let you sleep. I’ll go downstairs and you can come whenever you’re ready.” Aaron pulled the blankets up more tightly around Hamilton. He kissed his forehead lightly. 

Hamilton sighed contently, falling asleep easily once more. Aaron gave him a final loving glance before closing the door gently behind him. 

Aaron arrived in the living room to a huge sigh of relief from Ronny, “FINALLY!” 

“Wait, where’s Alex?” Sally asked worriedly. 

Aaron didn’t want to divulge too much. “I let him sleep.” 

Aaron took what had become his normal spot on the loveseat. “Probably a good idea,” Sally said, focusing on her son, who was excitedly opening gifts from Santa.

Ronny was now staring open-mouthed at a Ninja Turtles Lego set he had just opened. 

The adults watched in delight as Ronny opened all his gifts. A small mountain of wrapping paper appearing next to the tree when he was finished. 

Aaron received a few gifts from Sally and Tap, including a scarf and a bottle of wine. 

They were just finishing breakfast when Hamilton appeared, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. Hamilton sat next to him at the dining room table. Aaron slid over the plate he had made for him. 

“I’m gonna need some coffee, is there any left?” Alex asked.

“Of course, I made a lot,” Sally said warmly. 

“Bu--Aaron, do you want to come get some with me?” Hamilton peeked over at him, his dark eyes still looking tired. 

Aaron nodded and followed Hamilton into the kitchen. “Come back quick!” Ronny yelled after them. “I have new Turtles toys to play with!” 

Hamilton grabbed the biggest mug and Aaron passed him the cup he had already used for coffee. He prepared both of their coffees, filling his own with the typical _way too much_ cream and sugar and Aaron’s the correct way coffee should be drunk, with only a splash of cream. 

He presented it to Aaron and leaned next to him against the kitchen island. 

Hamilton took a long sip of his coffee, closing his eyes, faint conversation echoing from the dining room. 

“So you love me.” 

Aaron had just taken a drink of his hot coffee. He coughed as it burned its way down his throat. 

“What? Wh--” 

This wasn’t at all how he’d thought this would go. But Hamilton had stood up fully and was facing him, his face expectant. “Burr?”

“Um--er--” Aaron spluttered. He had no idea what was going on. _Did Sally get to him?_ She wouldn’t do that. He thought...

Hamilton took another sip of his drink. “You told me last night.” 

“I did--I don’t remember--” 

“Clearly,” Hamilton said, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “So. You actually said it first.” 

“But--I didn--I--” 

Hamilton seemed to find his stuttering very amusing. “Burr. Calm down,” he said. He put his mug down and took a step towards Aaron. “Yes, you said it. Sleepy-you said it, and you didn’t get to calculate the exact moment. And if you want to deny it, go ahead. But you know I love you too, right?” 

Hamilton closed the distance between them and grabbed Aaron’s coffee. He put it down and placed his hand on Aaron’s arm. “You’ve been wonderful and I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t love me for how I was acting, and will probably continue to act. But god help me, I love you. I should have told you that a long time ago. I’ve wanted to, I just...I’ve never had a relationship like this before.” 

Aaron couldn’t look away from those beautiful, expressive eyes. _How could he ever seen anything but love in those eyes before?_

“I didn’t want to fuck it up,” Hamilton continued. “I’ve fucked up so many before. And I think I know what you’re thinking but sometimes I have no clue. But here you go. It’s all out there now. _I love you_ , Burr.” 

They fell towards each other. Aaron’s hands tangled themselves in Hamilton’s hair. Hamilton nuzzled his lips across Aaron’s neck, his stubble burning slightly. Aaron found himself sighing at the contact. 

Hamilton kissed his way up Aaron’s neck, nibbling on his ear. Aaron’s heart soared and he wrapped himself even tighter around Hamilton. 

They kissed and kissed and Aaron didn’t want to stop, his mind only on Hamilton. 

Until it wasn’t. 

“Ewww. They’re kissing!” A disgusted yell came from the kitchen doorway. 

They flew apart, panting heavily, Aaron’s entire body burning. Aaron saw Ronny run away. 

“I told you not to go in there,” he heard Sally laugh. 

They both stood in silence for a beat, before Hamilton snorted. “Oh my god.” 

Aaron was mortified. “I’m glad you’re finding this funny. I don’t think I can go back in there.” 

Hamilton’s face was bright red, Aaron knew he was just as embarrassed. 

“You know we have to,” Hamilton said. 

“You wanted to leave, well now here’s our chance.” Aaron pointed towards the doorway. 

Hamilton grabbed his hand and pulled him roughly out of the kitchen. Aaron pulled himself away from Hamilton once they got to the dining room, arranging his face to not show the utter discomfort he felt. Aaron couldn’t look his sister in the eye. She was positively cackling now. 

Hamilton walked proudly in, his hair a mess, though his face was still as red as the lights twinkling on the tree. 

They slowly pulled their chairs out and sat down at the dining room table. Hamilton picked up his fork and started to eat the omelette Tap had made. Aaron fixed his eyes on the empty plate in front of him. 

“I’m sorry, little brother. I tried to stop him. You were taking a long time to get coffee,” she said in between snorts of laughter. 

_The coffee._

They had left it in the kitchen. 

With burning ears, Aaron went back to grab their drinks. 

 

Aaron linked hands with Hamilton as they walked to the nearby Presbyterian church that Sally’s family belonged to. It was one of the few things their father had left them with--their deep faith. 

“Sooo we can leave after this right?” Hamilton asked, trying to sound casual, but Aaron could see right through it. 

Aaron chuckled. Hamilton was being such a good sport today, the interrupted kiss seeming to relax him a bit, but he had his limits. “Sure, consider it your first Christmas gift.” 

“Ooh you know how to treat a guy don’t you, Burr,” he said playfully. 

“I try.” 

 

The church was crowded, so they took seats near the back. Sally and Tap made conversation with the parishioners around them. Hamilton started idly flipping through a hymn book. 

Aaron pointed his finger at one of the pages. “This is my favorite Christmas song.” 

He put the book closer to his face to read it, he squinted. Aaron was almost positive that he would need glasses soon. “ _The First Noel_. I would never have guessed that.” 

“We used to sing it in choir when I was a kid.”

“You were in choir?” he asked, looking surprised. 

“Oh yeah, did I never mention that? My Dad was a minister.” 

“Oh. Didn’t know that. Learn something new every day, I guess.” He flipped through a few more pages. “Well, sadly, they don’t have my favorite in here. _Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer_. True classic.” 

Hamilton continued to fidget and play with the book the entire service. It was distracting. Even Ronny was seemingly more attentive, though he had a child’s bulletin and was completing a maze and coloring for most of the time. Aaron had to constantly remind himself that Hamilton didn’t want to be here, and he was only here for Aaron’s sake. He couldn’t let himself get mad about it. 

 

During the middle of the service, one of the cantors announced that the next song would be “The First Noel.” 

Hamilton waggled his eyebrows at Aaron. 

Aaron opened his book and started to sing loudly, rarely looking at the words. He knew most of it by heart. 

He felt Hamilton’s eyes on him the whole time. Hamilton quietly sang along. His hand finding Aaron’s with a tight squeeze. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you could sing?” Hamilton murmured in his ear. 

Aaron simply shrugged--he couldn’t answer him while he was trying to focus on the service. 

“Well, it was beautiful. And I think I might love you even more now.” 

Aaron felt a heat rising up his neck. 

Aaron kept their hands connected, attempting to keep Hamilton steady and remind himself that Hamilton was here for him. 

Aaron found his attention waning during the minister’s sermon, Hamilton’s boredom and annoyance becoming too clear. He wanted to say something to him, but though his father had been dead for many years, he’d never quite lost the dedication of a minister’s son. 

 

Hamilton was quickly packing his bag, not bothering to fold anything, just rolling his clothes in a ball and stuffing them in. Then he sat on the bed with his arms crossed, waiting for Aaron to finish.

Aaron had planned on staying later today or even another night, but he had to do it for Hamilton. His sister had understood. 

“You take that boy home and give him a good rest of his Christmas,” Sally had said, pressing a gift she had got for Hamilton into his hands. “I just better get a call a day this Christmas break.” 

Aaron zipped his bag closed, shouldering it. Hamilton stood up, following him soundlessly. 

 

“No you can’t leave!” Ronny yelled, holding onto Aaron’s legs tightly. “You just got here!” 

“I”m sorry,” Aaron replied, crouching down to give his nephew a proper hug. “I’ll call you and we can talk later this week.” 

Ronny hugged him, a few tears escaping. “Why don’t you ever come to visit?” he whined. 

“Well, maybe we should take a journey to the big city one of these days. Would you like that, Ronny?” Sally asked. 

Ronny visibly brightened at that, finally pulling away from Aaron. He put his arms out towards Alex, who, smiling wide, bent down to give him a big hug. “Can we see Alex too? He plays Turtles the best.” 

The adults all laughed. “If Uncle Aaron allows it,” Sally said giving Aaron a tight hug. 

“I think we can make that happen,” Hamilton said.

They gave their final farewells and with the promise of future visits, closed the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you listen to Leslie Odom Jr.'s Christmas album you can't help but make Burr sing Christmas carols.....


	7. My father wasn’t around...I swear that I’ll be around for you

“You awake?” Burr asked, turning slightly in his seat. 

“Yeah,” Alex responded, though his eyes were having a hard time staying open. “Barely.” It was only 2:00 and though he had slept in and didn’t do much of anything, he felt as if he could sleep for a week. He was ready to get back home, and get back to some semblance of a regular schedule, spend time with Burr. 

_Burr._

_Burr, who loved him. HIM!_

He smiled despite his tiredness, peering over at Burr, who was intently staring at the road, his hands at 10 and 2. Alex rubbed his eyes, trying to stay awake. 

“I love you.” He watched as one side of Burr’s mouth rose slowly. “I gotta fit it in as many times as possible now to make up for all the times I didn’t say it,” Alex added. 

“I love you too,” Burr said, turning in his seat as much as a safe driver was allowed. 

Alex’s heart warmed at the words. He didn’t think he would ever get used to the feeling. 

“Thanks for coming with me. I really do appreciate it,” Burr said. 

“Well, I wouldn’t do it for just anyone.” 

Burr gave him a final _true Burr_ smile before turning his full attention back to the road. 

Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had a few notifications of texts from his friends, as usual checking up on him during the holidays. 

From Angelica: **_Hope things are going well with Aaron!_**

From Mulligan: **_Merry Christmas, Hammy! Let’s hang out over your break_**

A few notifications on Facebook, including-- _goddamnit_ \--another message from his father.

And he read it. 

_Merry Christmas, son! I still haven’t heard from you, but hope you can take some time of your break to respond. I’d still love you see you or talk to you…_

“You have that look like you’re about to fight with Jefferson in a meeting. It’s the eyebrows,” Burr said, interrupting his reading, placing a hand delicately on his leg and rubbing gently.

“Ughhhh. My stupid father again. I’m blocking him right now.” He held his finger over the block button. “Why does he think he can just butt into my life like this. I don’t owe him a single goddamn thing. He’s not my family. Anymore.” He clicked the button. The message and his father’s picture faded. 

Alex shoved his phone back into his pocket with difficulty, his hands slightly shaking. He couldn’t believe he had actually done it. 

But that part of his life was over; it had been for a long time. He had made his own life, without his father. He had a good job, good friends, a boyfriend who he...loved. And it all had taken work; it wasn’t easy. His father couldn’t just waltz in and think Alex would drop everything to go see him. 

He was fully, truly ready to move on, that door that had always been open in his mind to the possibility of his father again, closed. 

Burr’s eyes were worriedly flicking back and forth between the road and Alex. 

“I’m okay.” 

Burr raised an eyebrow at that. “I mean, I might freak out about it for a bit, but I now can close that part of my life. I spent a lot of time with your family and I did that because I needed to. I’m building my own life and that’s what you do. And he’s not a part of that.” 

“My future is with you. And I guess Sally, and Ronny...and yes, even Tapping.” 

Burr didn’t say anything, but he had _that_ look in his eyes. The one he usually had before they made out. 

“Don’t worry, Burr. I’ll give you your Christmas gift right when we get back.”

Alex felt the car slightly accelerate. 

 

Alex spent a relaxing evening with Burr at his own apartment. Alex just needed to be in his own place, sit on his couch, drink from his glasses. They spent so much time at Burr’s place. Burr wasn’t a fan of Alex’s apartment, but Alex loved it: the piles of papers that lined many surfaces, his lumpy couch he had had since college, the huge pile of dishes that always seemed to be in the sink. 

They exchanged gifts and laid around once they got back. It was perfect. 

Later that night, they lay next to each other on the couch, an episode of _Parks and Recreation_ on the TV that Alex had seen a million times. Alex picked up his glass of whiskey from the coffee table, taking a sip, the ice clinking. 

“Yesterday and today weren’t easy for me. It seems stupid, considering how adorable your sister’s family is...but it brought up some rough memories.” 

Burr looked surprised for a moment at Alex’s declaration, then his face settled back into the familiar caution he was used to seeing. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” 

Alex took another drink. He stared at the TV, not really seeing it. “Well, I won’t go into too much detail. But I just wanted to say that I'm glad I did it. I want a future with you and it needed to happen.” 

Burr snuggled closer to him, throwing an arm across his shoulders. He kissed the top of Alex’s head. “I'm glad you did too.” 

“I mean, it's not your family. They're great. It's my own baggage. It's forcing me to work through it all. But it's worth it. For you.” 

Alex rested his head on Burr’s shoulder. Burr rubbed his arm. 

They sat like that for a few moments, Leslie Knope’s voice still echoing from the TV. 

“It could be like this all the time, Burr,” Alex said. 

Burr looked away from the TV, frowning. “What do you mean? We already do this _all the time_.” 

“But not in a place that’s ours together.” 

“Ah.” Burr sighed, stretching out his legs on the table in front of him. “I thought we were waiting to have this conversation till after Christmas? It’s still Christmas Day.” 

“Let’s do it now. I wanna move in together. How about you bring your things over tomorrow?” 

Burr laughed. “Hamilton.” He nudged Alex with his shoulder. 

“What?” Alex asked turning his head slightly. 

“It’s not as simple as that.” 

“Okay. Fine.” He faced Burr. “What’s your issues about it then?” 

Burr crossed his arms, his face serious. “No matter where we lived, if this happened...if we move in together, we would need to set up some rules.” Burr gestured around the apartment. “You know I can’t stand how you leave your place.” 

Alex looked at the piles of papers stacked on his table. “Okay. I guess I could do to clean up every once and awhile.” 

“You say that now…”

“You don’t believe me?” 

“I believe that you want to think you’ll do that.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Well, what about you? If I’m making a compromise then you have to. Like maybe sometimes every glass doesn’t need a coaster. Maybe the place can look like actual people live there.” 

“Fine. But the couch goes.” 

Alex grabbed onto the arm of his lumpy couch dramatically. “No, not Old Blue!” 

“Yep, Old Blue’s gotta go. It smells.” Burr perched himself on the edge of the cushion. 

“Fine. But I get to pick out the new one. I don’t like your couch, it’s too stiff.” 

Burr heaved a sigh. “Fine.” Alex poked him in the side. “See? Look we figured this out like adults. I know there’s lots more to discuss, but don’t you think it will work?” 

“Okay, so we’re doing this,” Burr said, apparently resigned. “But you’re going to promise me that you’re not going to leave dishes in the sink. In writing.”

Alex smiled, nestling himself close to Burr once more. “Fuck you. I love you. Merry Christmas, Burr.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for the comments and kudos! I still can't believe I've wrote so many words this year about teacher Ham and Burr and people enjoy reading it. 
> 
> And because they still refuse to leave me alone, I'm planning on doing a 3rd part to this series, so be on the look out!
> 
> Happy New Year!


End file.
